HANDSOME BUT DAMNED - Attraction Read online

  I will never forget this night, everything they did for me. Between a chat and the other I ask Claire what she managed to organize all this. He tells me everything, I am surprised to hear that this was originally an idea of Erik. She told him of my failure dancing and he found the place and organized the whole thing. I never would have guessed, worked without killing yourself. Know enough about Claire know she likes control and even Erik is no less, surely will be compromised. I witnessed enjoyed a clash between them would be like seeing a tiger and a Panther in the same cage.

  I just walked into the belly of the beast, and that den! I'm not really surprised by the luxury of this apartment is exactly like him. What's it like? Ah, Yes, "I want the best". No I wonder he lives in a Palace and with a breathtaking view, everything in his style, he is simply by Erik. After a quick tour wastes no time to claim his prey. Erik agrees but expects for a reward, if not for him there is no taste.

  I could never refuse after everything he's done. My conscience tells me to knock off the crap, I'm here because I want to and not for what he did. I'd love him even if he hadn't done anything. I'm a case lost. Now champing, and this of course won't ever. I would at least let you know that I love him, though, and that I really appreciate what he does.

  His hands are like a shock to my body, her lips are like life for mine and her eyes are like a spell for my heart. This night was the best since we've been together, it was different. He also was different: no sign of arrogance, controlling, bullying, none of that. Tonight he was perfect. Or almost. Just missing one thing or, just two words ...

  «I love you».

  If you heard from his lips would be perfect. It is not easy to say. I have never said and I can't expect him to do it. I think he's scared like me. It's understandable, she never had a stable relationship. Me neither, really. I would like to let him know how much I love him, I want it so much.

  In my head buzzes a thought: «what if I write it and do the first step?».

  I think of watching him sleep. I could never give up on what I see, never. I would be in your arms for eternity, you are so right. I decided in the morning to tell him that I love him because even though it's been three months for me is like knowing him forever.

  Chapter 18

  My sleep was interrupted by the Erik hand that caressed my face, his eyes slightly closed, admiring it in all its beauty, then his eyes, those eyes that make me dream.

  The morning came, I felt the happiest woman in the world, I was with the man I loved and who was reinventing hope in me, had spent a wonderful birthday.

  We drank the good morning, kissed my chin up to his lips, and he put his hands in my hair, holding him close. He began to kiss me with passion and at that moment, my mouth whispered what I felt:

  «I love you!».

  Suddenly, his mouth got rid of me, it became cold, his body moved away from me abruptly, and his face became slightly pale. If I had a camera, I would have immortalized his expression.

  He seemed petrified, obviously my words shocked him.

  His eyes stared at me like two pieces of ice, «You said you loved me», he said, how to make sure to heard it well.

  «Yes» I said jokingly, though from his face, I realized that there was nothing to laugh at.

  «Listen to me, I'm fine with you», he said, taking a long pause and a long breath, his hands sagging in his hair.

  «I don’t think I know what I feel for you,» he confessed to med that there was nothing to laugh at.

  His words rumbled in my head, the petrified one, I was now.

  «For now, I do not feel like I'm busy, we can keep coming to know each other and then one day, you never know.»

  I hope he is joking! If he does not love me now, he will never love me.

  I'm a stupid, I can’t even talk, even if a bad guy he deserves it. He made me believe to be important, but obviously he only interested in rolling in the sheets, remaining free.

  I'm going to explode like a bomb and before my mouth does damage, I have to go away. I stood up in silence, tried to keep calm as I dressed and when I turned to look at it I made a sarcastic comment saying:

  «See you, Erik. Thanks for the night, it was fun.»

  He approached me and said,

  «You are important for me, but there are things you don’t know about me, give me time, »he whispered on my lips.

  «I'm sorry, Erik, but time has expired,» and I left his apartment. I felt screaming my name, but I didn’t turn back, I want him out of my life, he doesn’t realize the evil he’s doing to me, but I have to accept the reality.

  I make the biggest mistake of my life, falling in love with the wrong man, how did I become so stupid? I don’t have to cry or suffer, but just erase Erik from my life.

  It's 8 days, 6 hours and 45 minutes I suck, I just can’t take him from my head and curse myself to be in love with him.

  During these 8 days I was locked in the house, I didn’t go to work or at university. No Tv, no phone. Clair came every day to play at my door, but I didn’t open her. Even though she is my friend I can’t count on her since she is with Logan I didn’t understand anymore. Right now, I didn’t anyone next to me to remember Erik. But now, I just have to raise my ass and go ahead, first of all I have to take a shower, I'm stinging to suck. Then I have to put order in my life and make a list:

  get rid of the Truston;

  erase Erik from my life;

  clarify with Clair;

  finish the university.

  Erik didn’t love me and I will not wait to change my mind. He’s handsome but damned, his heart is icy and I couldn’t dissolve it.

  I gave him all myself, making love to him for the first time, I told and loved him but that was not enough.

  Truth hurts but I had to accept it and go ahead. I promise myself that I will not suffer more because of men. I must be bitchy and heartless, just like him.

  Chapter 19

  It was 12 months and Erik was my first thought in the morning and the last in the evening. He missed me, how could I miss someone who does not love you? I don’t understand.

  I met another man, but after a while, I paid him off, he said he loved me, but my heart belonged to someone else. The problem was the heart !.

  For a few months, working in a law firm as an assistant, as I continue my studies, what amazes me was how much ease I had taken.

  Clair says that everyone would like to have one like me in their offices; I love her.

  Last week, she had arranged a dinner at home, had accepted enthusiasm, but when I knew that Erik would be there, I said I had the flu.

  As I read the mail, a letter attracted my attention, an ivory envelope with a wedding ring design, was a marriage, Clair's marriage!

  Already, Logan and her are getting married. Although lately we did not see us often, our relationships were much strengthened, I missed our Saturday night of madness.

  Now, I thought, my life was perfect.

  I had the job I dreamed of, I left without sentimental complications, didn’t need money, was all right, then why did not I feel complete? I was sitting on the sofa drinking red wine alone, that's why, because about a year ago a bastard, broke my heart!

  I don’t want to go to this wedding because I know he will be there.

  I don’t see him from that morning in his room, he tried to look for me, but by now it was late, I had already made my decision, he did not deserve my love.

  When Erik received the letter with my resignation, he became very angry, but he did not care why he was nothing compared to what he had done to me.

  However, I had no choice, I had to go to my best friend's wedding, I also have to do the bridesmaid.

  I love her like a sister, but sometimes I would kill her for how diabolic it is!

  Two weeks were missing at the wedding, and I had to prepare psychologically. I had to play the hardest part of all, look cold and heartless.

  ***

  The two weeks that I divided by the big event are flow
n. I tried in every way do not think about today, unsuccessfully of course. On the other hand I prepared quite a script. Come on, a deep breath. I enter the picture. I get off the machine with a certain slowness. Cursed dress, It's the first traitor of the day. Because Claire has chosen a dress so sexy for her bridesmaid just don't understand. Who am I kidding? I know it well.

  She said «This is the latest fashion and I want the best for my wedding.»

  You and your bloody fashion. I find myself with a back completely naked. And then is too long, It' s entangled in my shoes.

  I try to argue as little as possible with the dress, I'm disposing before to arrive in front of the Church. I just got here and already I have anxiety. There are many people out there. I think Logan has achieved its purpose, he likes things small. Needless to say that Claire would invite the whole world to her wedding. She had prepared a list of invitees.

  «Elisa!». A voice scream my name. My eyes meet those of a bride hating.

  Uh-oh, trouble ahead.

  «I am here but that jerk of my almost hubby still has not seen» screams gesticulating. She appears in a rage.

  «I swear, if he and his friends don't show up within five minutes, I chop your balls off »continue clasping his hands to punch. I want an Exorcist, immediately.

  «Honey, You calm down» I say as I approach her. I try to sound like an Angel or something? I don't know, we also want to hypnotize her? I prove all if I help her, she is scary me right now.

  «I knew something would go wrong. Before I will groom him, then I will kill him with my hands.» As they say: "After the storm comes the Sun?". Well, why doesn't she seem a storm but a tsunami, I just hope she doesn't shave everything to the ground.

  «They' re coming» screams someone, he attracting our attention.

  «Now you have to relax. Deep breaths and you go get married. All I ask for a little favor. Before you will kill your future husband you make me aunt. » My words seem to be working. Her eyes are no longer burning as if she was the devil herself.

  «I think about how much you love him, how much you're happy together. The rest is a side dish» I try to give her courage. All that bluster conceals a sweet person and fell in love.

  «I am ready,» she says sighing. Now that the Panther is back in her Lair, we can go on stage.

  I walked through the nave with everyone's eyes on me.

  First two girls came out, spreading red petals, then I; A deep breath and away.

  I walked through the nave looking ahead, but my dress was of a discomfort, but I didn’t have to lose control, not now.

  I looked at the groom who looked very nervous, was talking to a man who was behind me. Black hair, slim physical, powerful shoulders ....

  Here, he was, Erik, even more fascinating. I missed my breath, after twelve months, still has some effect, I have to go to the psychologist, it is not possible.

  Without wanting it, my eyes looked at him for a moment, I smiled as if nothing was approaching me.

  I felt his eyes still look at me, but I did not intend to cross his gaze again.

  Who knows if he was accompanied by a new girlfriend, but because I keep asking myself these questions, for me this is a closed chapter, I don’t care about his life.

  The bride made her entrance, and we turned to admire her in all splendor, it was the most beautiful bride I've ever seen.

  During the ceremony, Erik didn’t stop for a moment to look at me, which caused in me emotions. By now I learned to look and look cool.

  Finally, after two hours of promises and tears, we went to the restaurant. So, it was nice because I didn’t know anyone, and the last person I wanted to talk to was Erik.

  «Elisa». I recognize that voice.

  «Jason!» I cried by voting.

  «You're beautiful».

  Always the same. In this year we kept in touch. For a short time he was client of the firm where I work, he is a great person.

  «Do you want to dance, maiden?» he asks so theatrical. When he does the fool he knows that always he manages to snatch me a laugh, I know he does it on purpose. I offer him my hand and we go to the center of the track.

  After some jokes and laughter, he comes up with a question that I never expected: «Do you think continue to avoid him?»

  «Why should I? Now he is became the past »I say safe to me.

  «Do you are sure? Because I can tell you with certainty that for he has not gone» he whispers moving closer to my face. I think he's had too much to drink. I don't understand because we are talking about this.

  «Erik loves only himself and I've moved on. He is just a memory for me.» I respond by increasing the distance between us. I'm liar.

  «I know well my friend, you trust me. He has always been in love with you. Only he takes longer to figure things out.» I can't help laughing at what he said.

  Erik fall in love with me? Yes, in my dreams.

  «This conversation is absurd. I don't want to talk about something that belongs to the past. I went on with my life and I guess him did, too. No sense talking about it» I say I looking around.

  «You know I love you like a sister but I am going to show you how much he is still bonded to you». he approaching resting his forehead on mine. His hands shaking my body to hers. What the hell's going on? I detachment sharply looking terrible.

  «What's wrong with you? »I ask.

  «Now you will understand, you shot» I still confused I do as he says. Erik sitting at a table and he staring at us. He don't has a look of surprise but he has a look with rage. He is angry?

  «Do you look? He fall in love to you, he's just a coward» he mumbles. I can't let myself carried away by emotions, not again.

  «I don't love you anymore.» I just told the lie of the century. I walk away from the track without paying more attention to anything.

  I sit at a table and pour some champagne. I counted them but I think the third glass. I really need alcohol, this day is getting worse.

  «Hi, Elisa» almost I strangle me when I hear his voice. Make it rain a Meteor on my head, I don't want to talk to him. I need to check it out, I'm not a baby anymore. It's from when you know this wedding that you prepare yourself for this conversation.

  «Erik» I say cold.

  «I'm happy to see you again.» Are you kidding me? I wish to say that it is not the same for me but I give up. Why don't you just leave? I don't want to talk to you, it is not obvious?

  «Do you want to dance with me?»he asks handing me his hand. Ah. Ah. That laugh. I'm not falling anymore, my dear, no more.

  «No, thanks» answer. Why you're sitting near me instead of leaving? Oh, look, he remembered after all this time I exist.

  «I heard about your career, congratulations.»

  You've been informed, I see. I don't understand why he wants to talk to me, why now?

  «Thank you.»

  «Why are you avoiding me?» he question. But he's stupid or what?

  «I'm avoiding, Erik, just I don't have nothing to say to you» I ment.

  I could yell the anger that I have accumulated over the past 12 months.

  «Are you avoiding me for a year. Why?» he asks. Don't get he why? What game are you playing? I know he is very smart and I'm sure he knows why.

  «Do not I avoid, just went ahead and I had more important things to think about you» I ment still. Hit and sunk.

  «Why do you refuse to dance with me?»

  Good question.

  Perhaps because dream from one year your hands on my body, maybe because I still love you and I don't want to show it. And if he's noticed? No, this must not happen, I have to fix it right away.

  «I was just tired but because you care so much…»

  I get up without finishing the sentence. His hand grab my, when he touch my body vibrates. My heart is beating madly, and I realize I made a real shit to accept this dance. I am not indifferent, he never was. I try to keep a certain distance but he pulls me toward him doing clash our breasts. His hand slides ove
r my bare back touching it lightly.

  But what's wrong with me? Self-control, don't I have to drag it back into the vortex. We dance for a few minutes that seems eternal. I have to admit, in his arms I'm still fine. I avoided his eyes all the time. Although now I know check, I don't know what would happen if you looked.

  «You missed me» he whispers on my hair. His words come straight to the heart. I would like to say that he missed me too but I won't.

  «Thanks for the dance, I was pleased to see you» I say when I left with pain from his arms. I hope that this day will end soon because I am suffering too. I thought I would have so much effect review it but the harsh truth is that Erik is always in my heart.

  Chapter 20

  After so many years, I still have a bad relationship with the alarm clock. I should have been in the meeting room, but I wasn’t ready yet, I was, as always late.

  I ran like a madman, and when I got there, they were all sitting waiting for me. I stayed near my colleagues to know which customers were entrusted to us this month.

  My boss, Mr Well, is a 60-year-old businessman.

  Everybody called him "the black man", but in my opinion he was innocuous. With me always kind, he believed in me saying I had a great potential.

  «This month we must assist a very prestigious company. I have personally chosen who will have this assignment» he communicates.

  It's interesting but I don't have to count a lot, I'm the latest to arrive. Tessa, his assistant, distributes to each of us a folder. I'm too curious to wait, I want to see who are my clients. How strange. There is a single sheet. Because everyone has so many leaves and I just one?

  «The best customer is yours, Elisa, you don't let me down» he informs me.

  Wow, he chose me for his best customer! Fantastic. My ego is coming through the roof. And I see the distraught faces of my fellow does nothing but increase it.

  Definitely want to try to really understand how good I am, I don't want to disappoint him. I take the foil excited and sell the customer name. Found. Client: Truston.